In Memoriam

Exactly one year ago, I was travelling in California, staying at my cousin's place and doing the usual traveler stuff; attending Halloween parades, road-trip to Vegas and Grand Canyon. Who would have imagined then how much times were set to change in the succeeding 12 months! Many things we assumed as constants in life have changed beyond recognition, while many others we had always assumed as transcending variables are sticking around longer. 

It is like a collective "You know nothing, Jon Snow." phase for the whole world. 

While economies will recover, profits/investments can be consolidated and career paths readjusted, the irreversible loss of lives will cast an everlasting shadow. It feels indecent, intrusive and even inhuman to come to terms with a reality where life is lost over a handshake, a hug, or simply physical proximity to a fellow human, more often their own kith and kin. 

My stay in San Diego last year coincided with the date of Día de Muertos (The Day of the Dead), a Mexican tradition and festival of remembering deceased family members. It was an interesting sight; alters decorated with Marigold flowers, laden with food and other items that were dear to the departed. Instead of being a somber affair of mourning, the celebratory tone of this event seems to be a design to help people cope with loss and move on. 

I recently watched the movie Coco, which is also a story woven around Día de Muertos. In true Pixar-style, the movie gives a solid message with a lot of light-hearted (and some eye-moistening) scenes: the power of memories. 

At any point of time, our reality in life is a cumulative accumulation of all our memories till then. Some memories and people are an integral part of us and we take them for granted. When we lose someone like that, it’s like a little part of us is chiseled away, and that loss is irreparable. 

However, in some time, our memories about them start to fill in that spot. The more we remember them and the memories associated with them, we make new memories. They're definitely not the same as having the person around, but they’ll occupy that space in us; incomplete, inconvenient and definitely imperfect. But we get used to it over time and it becomes a new normal. 

It is like the song, “I’ll keep a part of you with me. And everywhere I am, there you’ll be.”